The Square Life

Some of you out there think now that Kobe was ousted this week that I have nothing to talk about, or whine about, depending on your perspective. You couldn't be more wrong. I have never been faced with the moral sports dilemma I am now faced with. I'll get to what that is, but first...

This past week sports was blessed with one of the best U.S. Opens in history and a Celtics championship. Personally, I loved it all. But as of today, Friday, I am left with a slight sports hangover. I love baseball (especially compared to most people I know), but regular season baseball just isn't all that exciting. I enjoy watching golf, but ever since Tiger became...well Tiger, I've had a hard time caring about tournaments that he isn't in. And now that he is out for the year, I may be done caring about golf for the year too. And tennis? Well, let's just say the sport isn't the same for me since Agassi retired. Federer is too good, and his personality is too bland.

So what is my point? I have none, I'm just bored. Wait, no, I do have a point: my dilemma. Not yet, I need to say something about what happened this past week. Tiger is an icon. I’ve known that for quite some time, but the guy gets people talking about golf around the water cooler (is that term still valid?) more than any other one athlete gets people talking about their sport. Golf! Sunday afternoon, when Tiger sunk that putt on the 18^th, my family was glued to the TV. My nephew, who knows nothing about golf, was enthralled by Tiger. He was so stoked after Tiger sunk the putt that he was grinning from ear to ear and imitating Tiger’s fist pump. When five year old boys are getting excited about golf, something special is going on. Anyway, there are very few athletes I will tell my great-grandkids about, but Tiger is definitely one of them. Off the top of my head the list of athletes I am still talking about in 2073 are:

1)       Michael Jordan

2)       Tiger Woods

Wow. That list was shorter than expected. Anyway, Tiger is special.

The Celtics clincher was bitter sweet. I really wanted them to win, but a 39 point win? I had been telling everyone who would listen to me since Game 4 that The Lakers lacked heart, but losing by 39 when your back is against the wall? Really? It’s not like the Celtics were that much better than the Lakers. Take away a comeback for the ages in Game 4 and its The Lakers heading to Boston ahead in the series.

The one overwhelming (and I mean OVERWHELMING) difference was heart. And defense, but those two are often synonymous. The Celtics played like a 12 seed during the opening week of March Madness, and The Lakers played like a snot-nosed little brother in a backyard pickup game. Sad. Not surprisingly (to me) Kobe was basically a no show. Once he knew this one was getting ugly, he started calling his travel broker to schedule a quick trip to Bermuda.

Lucky Kobe. I wish I could go to Bermuda. No, I’m stuck in the daily grind, trying to figure out my biggest sports dilemma I’ve ever had in my entire life. What? I haven’t told you what my dilemma is? Oh. Okay, here goes. Here’s a hint: it involves Kobe.

Anyone who knows me (or read the Summer Issue of the mag) knows that I am JACKED UP about the upcoming Summer Olympics. I am so excited that thinking about it literally gives me chills. The Summer Olympics to me is the ultimate sporting event. To top it off, I have been waiting anxiously for this Summer Olympics more than any other that has preceded it. Why? Let’s just say I took the Men’s Basketball bronze medal personally. I was heartbroken when we lost to Argentina (not to mention Puerto Rico) in ’04. Basketball is one thing that I am not diplomatic about. It’s our sport, and the U.S. should always win…big.

A lot has been done by Mr. Colangelo and Co. to ensure that the U.S. returns to the gold medal podium this summer. And I couldn’t be more appreciative. But here’s the thing: in order for me to enjoy what should be a certain Olympics success (I just rubbed my rabbit tail and kissed my lucky coin), I have to cheer for Kobe Bryant. THE Kobe Bryant. More importantly, I have to learn to love him. Not only is it the Christian thing to do, but Kobe is (gulp) our best player. I know, I know. All I have done in the past few weeks is bash Kobe. Can you understand my dilemma now? I have to grow up.

I have one un-diminishing desire for the USA to bring home the gold in basketball, and one deep-rooted desire for Kobe to be exposed for the selfish crybaby that I think he is. Something has got to give. Here’s the thing. I like pretty much everyone else on the roster, and even really like a few of them (namely Deron Williams, LeBron, CP3, and a couple others). But I can’t stand Kobe Bryant. When I realized this dilemma today I did some serious soul searching. And I came to a conclusion. Here is what I said to myself:

1) I know I need to forgive Kobe for being a crybaby jerk who thinks he can get away with ANYTHING. It is a part of my religious beliefs, for goodness sake. Maybe forgiving Kobe and learning to love him will bring me greater spiritual strength.

2) I really really want the U.S. to take home the gold, and other than Kobe, there isn’t one thing I dislike about the players on that team. Even if he won, a bunch of other guys I do like would win. Plus, if they lost, somebody like Manu Ginobili might win it again. Is that really much better?

3) Maybe it would be nice to cheer for him for once. Think about it, if he makes the shot, it helps Team USA. If he misses it…well, I’ve never had a hard time enjoying a Kobe miss in the past.

4) The Tom Cruise effect. Personally, I think that Tom Cruise is a psycho. Let’s just say if I saw him at the grocery store I wouldn’t go ask him to sign my cereal box. However, whenever I watch him in a movie, I find it within myself to root for his character. Maybe that is what it’s like to cheer for Kobe in the Olympics. Olympics basketball isn’t pure basketball anyway, so it will be like Kobe is “acting” like a basketball player. It’s not the real Kobe, it’s Olympics Kobe.

And Finally

5) Maybe it’s like my relationship with my friend Marcus. When we were young kids, I thought he was a spoiled brat, and just kind of figured I didn’t like him. However, when we were sophomores in high school, we started hanging out with our mutual friend Tyler pretty often, and before I knew it, we were best of friends. And I realized I had his personality all wrong. Maybe that is the case with Kobe. Maybe if Kobe and I had a mutual friend like Tyler, we would start hanging out and become buddy buddy. Probably not, but maybe.

Okay, that last one was a stretch, but I have made up my mind. Now that there isn’t much in sports to watch until August, I guess I will be working on forgiving Kobe. I will be in my room for the next two months meditating, reading the Bible, and singing the Star Spangled Banner. Wish me luck.

See you in August!