The Square Life

I watched The Gods Must Be Crazy (I and II) this week. If you haven't seen it, you really need to. I love that show. I love watching Xi discover the civilized world, and all of our funny habits. Watching that movie really helps put things in perspective, and it really is funny.

Later when I thought about it I realized that I have had many experiences with people like Xi. Chances are if you're reading this blog you’re a sports fan. We’re a rare bread, you and I. And people just don't understand us sometimes. You can always tell when you are talking to a Xi. They look at you like you are handicapped for caring so much about sports.

Here's a typical conversation:

"It's killing me not being able to watch the game!"

"Why?"  

"Because it's the playoffs."

"Can't you just check the score later?"

"Yes, but that's different."

"Different how?"

"It means more when I can support them live."

"Support them? Do you know one of the players?"

"Well, not personally."

"Huh."

In case you're unsure, "huh" is there way of saying, "You are such an idiot." Just like Xi, they genuinely don't understand us. They start thinking sports are an "evil thing" that must be tossed off the end of the world. To you and I, no sports would be the end of the world. 

Is there a name for people like this? If not, I think we should start calling them Xi. I'm open to suggestions of course. I really think we need to fight back, and it’s time conversations went more like this:

"It's killing me not being able to watch the game!"

"Why?"  

"Because it's the playoffs, and the playoffs are important."

"Are they really important?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, extremely important."

"What, do you know one of the players?"

"Yes. I know where he played high school and college ball. I know his height, weight, his kid’s names, and his favorite cereal is Cocoa Puffs. So there!"

"Huh."

“Don’t ‘huh’ me.”

Finally, as great as Xi is, he is the crazy one for wanting to live in the Kalahari Desert. I know we westerners have way too much that we depend on, but still. Who wants to live in the Kalahari? It's the same with sports Xis. Sure, we sports fans care too much sometimes. But who wants a life without sports? Crazies, that's who.