The Square Life

Come mid-winter semester in the heart of Utah Valley, apartment fridges are plastered with superfluously-typed declarations of love and by artistic photos of approximately 328190 happy couples.
With this plethora of wedding announcements comes an abundance of wedding receptions, and with wedding receptions comes everyone from your freshman year boyfriend to your childhood piano teacher.
The expectation of running into such a wide range of exes, potentials, and old chums creates a certain desire to dress to impress, creating a certain dilemma as you wonder what to wear to the event.
But as the fashion laws become increasingly vague--some fashion faux pas of the past are the fashion craze of today--perhaps you should consider what not to wear.
When it comes to wedding receptions, we have a few guidelines:

1. White
While its not likely that wearing white will get you banned from the event, this long-standing wedding tradition is best to be followed, so as not to confuse the real bride with a sea of other white, ivory, or pearl-colored frocks.
2. Your old prom dress.
You’ve lugged that sequin-covered gown from your hometown to apartment after apartment, hoping for the perfect opportunity to don the expensive ensemble once more. well, a wedding reception is not that opportunity--even if the invitation indicates a formal or semi-formal attire, save the prom dress for the next Preference dance instead.
3. Inflexible clothing.
The tossing of the bride’s bouquet, one of the most significant occurrences of the night, requires one to wear flexible clothing that will allow for rough and tumbling. With this in mind, avoid wearing a restricting pencil skirt or too-short dress. Those girls extremely hopeful to be coined the next bride-to-be may even consider wearing a layer of spandex shorts, and not letting those flowers get away without a fight.